hola

Welcome ICLW’ers!

It’s my first month participating in this. I created this blog a few months ago but it’s only recently that I have been regularly posting on here. As my little outlet in cyber-space to vent, ponder and just be.

Our story:

I married the most wonderful man 5.5 years ago. Our first 3.5 years we were happy to just enjoy married life together, and started TTC 2 years ago on a lark actually. I was running out of birth control pills and we were about to embark on a long international trip together, so we thought what the hell, let’s do it. Granted we felt financially, emotionally and over all ready to be parents.

So I was ok for 2 months or so before my body was overtaken by frightening symptoms: horrible cystic acne, a lot of my hair falling out, my period disappearing for months at a time and weight gain all centered around the abdomen. I’d gone to see a dermatologist about the acne, and cruelly she wouldn’t give me anything if I were TTC. I went to my GP about the hair loss, he suggested it was part of getting older (?). I was so extremely confused. Some six months later, I finally went to see my OBGyn about the missing periods, and as soon as she heard my symptoms she diagnosed me as PCOS with Insulin Resistance, further confirmed by blood work and a sonogram. We spent a few months in her treatment and that of a RE she referred me to, who had me start on Metformin, which I have taken 2000mg of for 16 months now. The OBGyn had me do two cycles of Clomid, which were both unmonitored. We were told to have timed intercourse, that too without any real information on when to “time” it.

We spent a good year with her… hoping the metformin would kick in.. hoping the clomid would work… Finally at our wits end, we went to see a RE that came highly recommended as the PCOS man in NYC. I’ve seen him for 6 months now. We’ve done 2 more cycles of Clomid but with Ovidrel and sonogram monitoring, we did another month just now of clomid + gonal F + ovidrel. I’m currently in my 2WW… hoping and praying…

So that’s my story. This has been a really lonely journey for me as I haven’t chosen to share it with very many people. I’m hoping to find a community online, and hope ICLW is the start of that.

are you there egg, it's me D

today I think I am 5 DPO.

But, I feel nothing in there. I think I should feel "something", the elusive "something".

And yet I feel nothing.

Hello egg hope this long journey from follicle to implantation is going slow but steady.

holiday party season sucks as a TTC PCOSer.

I've been laying off the alcohol almost entirely. It's no fun to go to these holiday parties where everyone is merry making, and sip on one wine all evening.

charting temperatures

I had my Ovidrel shot last week (Thursday, Dec 10), IUI Dec 11 and Dec 12. I hadn't ovulated either of those times but on the 12th, the RE said I looked really close.

My temperature finally went up this morning, some 108 hours later.

Google results showed that only 60% of women have a temperature increase exactly the day after whereas the remaining 40% have it a few days later.

Is it that or is it that I ovulated late? Is this even possible on Ovidrel? I had thought you were supposed to ovulate 36-50 hours after Ovidrel?

This happened last month as well.

My love's birthday is the 28th of this month. My 2ww will be over the 26th. He remarked the other day how amazing it would be if we got a BFP for his birthday.

It made me so sad, that I can't make this wonderful man a father.

I keep thinking of that and it makes me even sadder each time.

pain

I had cramping again last night, and again today starting late afternoon.

I have been a little nervous about hyper stimulation and today was looking up the symptoms...Don't want to over-do my research and get all worked up, but it's uncomfortable. Especially since I don't want to do take any pain medication. Uff. The joys of TTC. If this persists I may call the RE tomorrow, since he didn't say anything about pain. Is this Ovulation pain? If you have more than one folly, do they all rupture at once, or apart? Or is this pain from enlarged ovaries?

IUI #5 & 6

I went in yesterday morning for an IUI. 22million washed sperm count, which the Dr said was fantastic and much higher than anything we've had before.

Today I went in again. Hadn't ovulated. This happened last month too. Ugh, annoying. Today the count was 15.6million which the dr said is still decent. He said I had 4 follies ready to rupture. And that it looked like a really good month for me.

We were out until late last night at a friend's dinner party and didn't get home until 2am, so it was really hard to get up at 7am today. I trekked it to the dr's, carrying the cup of semen in my bra :) The temperature has dropped here so much that I was convinced it'd freeze if I didn't. Got home, cancelled my afternoon plans and just slept a few hours.

I wanted to take it easy. Things are looking promising this month and I want to do as much as I can to help my body prepare for implantation. This will mean no running, mostly taking it easy, eating well etc.

So I got up after a few hrs nap and had a dull pain in my lower abdomen. Peeing felt painful. It then turned into pretty painful pain (more so than say period cramping) and I just lay on the couch while Husband rubbed my head. I fell asleep again. When I woke up 40 minutes later, the pain was for the most part gone. This was about 36hrs post Ovidrel trigger. Must have been ovulation?

FINGERS CROSSED. STICKY DUST. and all that.