fries... ice-cream... chips...

I've fallen into a horrible habit of eating junk.

You see I've always been nutritionally minded- most days my life consisted of oatmeal w.flax for breakfast, a big salad for lunch, and some healthy concoction like lentil soup for dinner. I'd ofcourse splurge every so often, eating out at our fave Thai joint, pancakes and sausage brunches or the occasional McD.

Over the past two weeks I've gone bananas. I've eaten McD's atleast twice a week (their fries are about all I can eat when nausea hits), finished one of those large bags of doritos by myself over a few days and this morning ate a brownie and ice-cream for breakfast (so ashamed!). It's like I have no self-control.

I think for me it's compounded by my leg and not being able to go buy the fruits I want or the healthy eats I'd otherwise prepare. And since becoming preggers I can't stand to cook- last night I made a rather healthy pad-thai with some gorgeous king prawns and lots of veggies. The husband LOVED it, I ate one bite and couldn't stomach any more. So dinner was: 2 pickles & a Chobani low fat yogurt.

Maybe it's because I veer between binging on horrible junk food and eating not much from the nausea, but I haven't gained any weight either. Especially amazing when I think about the fact that I used to walk 45 minutes every day (to and back from work) and go to the gym atleast three times a week. I've gone from that to basically not being able to walk even? It's a mystery to me how I'm not gaining tons of weight.

I just can't understand my behaviour. It's not like I'm thinking "oh now that I'm pregnant, I can eat whatever I want". It's more of a mystery- I honestly feel like I crave these unhealthy items, which I've never craved ever before. And I then have no self-control on top of that.

Does anyone else find themselves eating horribly?

10w6d- waiting for the NT scan

One of the surprises of our first OB visit was being told we'd have 3 total scans for the remainder of the pregnancy. Since we found out we were pregnant, we've had one scan a week (and 2 the wk I was in Mexico and had the accident) and been totally spoiled by getting to see our little love so often. To be honest, the scans also induce alot of anxiety about how the baby is measuring and all of that, so maybe it's not a bad thing but it still makes me sad that we'll not get to see our little one so often!!

So the next time we're scheduled for a scan is for the NT scan in 2 weeks time. Maybe this is standard, but my OB gave me an envelope with a lancet and a form I need to mail in after I prick myself and get some blood on some circles. Yesterday my sister was over and we tried and tried and I couldn't get myself to prick myself. I tried a few times and then figured out the lancet was defective and then I couldn't get myself to use the second lancet. It was beyond ridiculous, especially seeing how often I had to inject myself while TTC. I know I need to do it today and mail it in tomorrow to make sure we have the results the day of the scan, but why is it so hard to prick yourself? And who's brilliant idea was this?? Why couldn't a nurse just do it.

Another reason I'm excited about the NT scan is that after we get the results we can finally start telling people. I have some friends who are pregnant and it will be fun to tell them and go through pregnancy with them, even if they're further along. It seems a lot of people can find out the gender at the NT scan- did you find out what you were having at the scan?? This is beyond exciting for us- I can't wait to find out what our little love is.

So with those thoughts I sign off tonight from a beautifully snowy NYC eve.

ps: can't believe I'm 11 wks tomorrow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

jeggings- wha?

Have you ladies heard of a fabulous invention called jeggings?

They're a cross btwn leggings and denim and anytime I leave the house lately I've been living in them. They are stretchy and soooo comfortable and I wear them tucked into my comfy boots and look remotely decent. As opposed to the sweatpants look- not attractive. I plan to spend the next 7 months in these and have a decently fashionable pregnancy!!

I bought my pair randomly at Filene's but I'm sure you can order them online. Just buy them a size larger than usual (so I got a L rather than M) and they fit really comfortably around the waist. I'm so happy these are around right as I'm pregnant!!

10w3d

copying some of my fellow bloggers with their quiz:

How Far Along? 10.5 Weeks!!!!!!!!!

Symptoms? Fatigue (though less than it was a few weeks ago), gagging when I brush my teeth, nausea around dinner time every day, breakouts on my face, sensitivity to smell

Total Weight Gain? Initially it looked like I'd gained 2 lbs (bloating?) but now I'm back to my original weight. The OB reccomended a total weight gain of 25 lbs for my pregnancy, which surprised me since I'm a healthy weight and I thought this was on the lower end of the spectrum. Do they always reccomend on the lower end?

Maternity Clothes? Bella band. And next weekend (with my leg healed inshallah) I want to go check out the Old Navy maternity wear sale. I haven't been to work in two weeks due to injury and have been living in leggings/sweat pants, so it may be a real shock once I wear my work pants again.

Stretch Marks? I don't think so. My skins been so dry so I've been slathering on the lotion. My whole body has really visible blue veins which fascinate me.

Sleep? Really well! Early on in my pregnancy I was suffering really bad insomnia. Then with the injury I was sleeping badly. As of this past week, I've been sleeping a full night w.o waking up. The need to pee also seems to have gone down slightly (?)

Best Moment Last Week? My first OB visit and being welcomed into the club officially. It finally feels real.

Movement? Not yet. Though if I am to admit something at the risk of everyone thinking I'm nuts, I sometimes feel these slight butterfly like flutters. Don't know what they are but I've never felt them before.

Food Cravings/Aversions? Have been having a really picky appetite (no meat, no onions, I'm digging plain things like yogurt and fruits and french fries, and anything sour - love mangoes sprinkled with lemon juice, pickles etc)

What I Miss? Sushi! That's the only thing I miss so far.

Looking Forward To? Seeing our little love again at the NT scan appointment.

Milestones? Can't believe we're 2 weeks away from 2nd Trimester!!

How Is Daddy? My husband has always been an amazing man, but lately he's been doting on me endlessly, spoiling me with massages and treats. I'm lucky to have a good man.

10 wks!!!!

I still have a hard time believing that we're pregnant and that I'm in my third month!

Probably because of being in the "high risk" category for the first 9 weeks made us rather paranoid to form too much of an attachment (as if?) but the coolest thing about our first appt with the OB was that she actually congratulated us! And it was only once we left her office this past Wednesday that both husband and I were like "omg, we're really going to have a baby" :).

I cannot tell you how amazing this feels. It's the answer to our years of prayers and efforts, worth every stick of the injection and nausea inducing medication. The countless sleepless nights wondering "why me?" and the bucket loads of tears. I realise it took us much more effort than most couples but it's brought the husband and I much closer, and made us 100% sure we'll be amazing parents to our little miracle. Once the leg is healed we're planning to go out and have a proper celebration- we haven't done that yet.

The OB's office also gave me one of those 9 month planners with space for scan photos and all of that pretty stuff- it's interesting how small things like that make it all the more "real". Which I'm looking fwd to filling up with all sorts of nonsense :)

Happy Friday Friends!

9w6d- first OB visit

So first OB visit went really well. I was scheduled as her last patient so it felt very unrushed. We looked over all the tests done by the RE and what others we needed to do. Over the course of the conversation I managed to get through all my questions without it feeling like I was interviewing her. Much less of a nightmare than I thought.

I've been seeing her for two years as a regular GYN, annual visit sort of thing. She gained my trust by being the one person who diagnosed my PCOS after many many visits to other doctors. She has a really relaxed attitude that inspires a level of comfort. As much as I grew to trust my RE, he always made me nervous.

The biggest surprise at today's visit was that I will only have three scans over the coming months. We'd been having one a week since we found out we're pregnant which she said was because I was qualified as "high risk" then and no longer am.

The other surprise was she's dating me at 9w6d. Not really a surprise in the sense that that is what it should be with my last period date. But because we know exactly when I ovulated the RE had placed me at 9w4d. Not that it makes a big difference- my due date is now 9/5 rather than 9/4. Not that that will mean anything.

I'm scheduled for a NT scan next week. She suggested once we'd done phase 1 and 2 of these scans that we could finally start telling people around week 17. It was almost funny how easily I just opened up my leg, and how the pap smear was a breeze after everything I've been through :)

I also have to say since being discharged by the RE, I feel far less anxiety. I asked the OB today if as a PCOS'er I had a higher MC rate, and she said once we were at this stage, she'd say we're good to go. That was so good to hear.

9w3d

Tomorrow I have my first OB-gyn appt. I saw the RE last week when he released me, which was kind of bitter sweet. We've grown in our relationship to one of more trust and I did not know how to thank him enough for helping us achieve our dream.

I feel woefully unprepared for tomorrow's visit and the questions I need to ask. Guess there's the list of questions on various site's I can run through. Do people really sit and "interview" their doctors? When I called to re-schedule the appt, they mentioned the doctor was out the next 10 days and that since I was already in my 10th week I needed to come in so we could also schedule my NT scan and other bloodwork.

Also had a check up with my GP for my leg and after a scare this weekend where I woke up with the sheet soaked in blood (checked my panty right away as that was my first thought) and realising I was bleeding from the wound. It's subsided somewhat, but I'm still bleeding. Today the doctor confirmed my wound is infected and put me on another cycle of antibiotics which he assures me is ok. This makes me nervous since I've even been avoiding taking any tylenol for the pain and hate the thought of having antibiotics coursing through me. He pointed out the risk of an infection would be higher. I'm going to run it by my OB tomorrow. As this would now be day 10-17 of antibiotics. Also he referred me to a surgeon as he thinks they may need to re-open the wound and check out the site of infection.

I nearly died hearing that. Just my luck, that me who has never broken a limb in my life nor ever sprained anything or sustained any sort of injury have to have this happen to me while I am pregnant. When they can't give me any thing for the pain. Fantastic.

So that is my state.

Btw after my last self-pitying post, husband encouraged me to make an appointment for some pampering. So I went to the nail salon right downstairs and got a mani & pedi :). I also walked down the block and had my hair blow-dried and you know what... I instantly felt like a million bucks. Nice what a little pampering can achieve :)