16 wks!

How far along: 16 weeks! Every week is a celebration for us.

Total weight change: almost 8 lbs- so I seem to be going at the 1 lb per week route. Which confounds me. I walk 2 miles every day (to work and back home), and have resumed my 3 times/week gym regimen (low intensity activities like the stationary bike and the elliptical). I want to work my way back into yoga as well. After some junk binging during 1T, I am back to my normal eating habits. I'm hungry alot, but am planning my snacks so that I am not tempted to eat chips and other goodies at work (I pack carrot sticks, hummus, whole grain crackers, boiled egg, apple etc). So it startles me to see the weight gain every week. I know things are growing in there but 1lb a week while eating fairly healthy and excercising seems like a lot.

Maternity clothes: the little belly is finally starting to show :) which I love! And also really happy it's finally Spring in NYC. I've been wearing my usual dresses, with tights and a blazer or cardigan and getting by in terms of work wear. Need to go do some real maternity shopping in the coming weeks. Going shopping is my guilty splurge, and especially in this city where shopping is ever present, it's hard to not browse. Lately seeing it's not exactly like I can fit into anything at the trendy boutiques, my credit card hasn't gotten as much use. Today I purchased two pairs of flats in bright colors- happy!

Stretch marks: no

Sleep: much better. Have slept well this entire week. I get up to go pee, but have been getting right back to sleep. I think the working out is contributing to this.

Best moment this week: hmm.. just the beautiful weather we've been getting, which makes me stop and admire the life blooming all around us.

Movement: Nothing new. I have to say I'm really looking forward to feeling the little one's movements hopefully soon.

Food cravings: sour things, apples, mangoes, pineapple

Gender: husband and I have started referring to it as "our son".. :)

What I miss: sushi!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Still have been having it atleast once per week, but I do miss my raw fish rolls.

What I'm looking forward to next: going on vacation in 2 weeks to visit my parents in Asia (they're expats currently based in Thailand)

Milestones: 2nd Tri happiness

Dear Baby

Dear baby,

today I am going through my closet. Taking down the clothes I already don't fit into, making space for the things I may still fit into...making space for Spring and all the promise it holds. Making space for the you that is growing strong and steadily in my belly. As I gently fold these clothes, I think of how my body is changing ... really how everything is changing. I smile as it occurs to me that I most likely won't bring out this work wear until 2011. I wrap you, albeit my belly, in my warm embrace and think how natural it feels that I love you already so much. And as I smile all to myself and do a little dance, with Ms. Kreviazuk playing in the background, her lyrics strike a chord. You feel like we already belong to each other, and I know that when we finally meet some 5.5 months from now we'll already know each other. I your mama, you my baby.

Your father and I have wanted you for so long. And just the thought that you'll be with us soon makes tears of happiness, endless joy, stream down my cheeks. You, our little miracle. You, our little love.

"If you knew how happy you're making me.... I never thought I'd love anyone so much. It feels like home to me."

Love,
your mama

back to normal

thanks ladies for listening to me rant in the previous post. Just a quick update to say I thought about my feelings and how to explain it to the husband so that he understands what I need right now. He really does try- I guess with my ever changing cravings, moods and hormones he doesn't know what to do. We had a good conversation and tonight he surprised me with my favorite Mexican for dinner :)

As for the doppler- found the heartbeat! Thanks ladies who left comments for your advice. I looked in exactly the same place as last time, and it took 5 minutes, but this time found both my own as well as the babies... and you're right they're distinctly different.

Have a lovely weekend everyone! I for one am looking forward to not doing much and getting in some extra sleep.

it's not always a bed of roses

Today was a bad day.

Work has been hard all week- too much to do, too little time. And not having the same energy level makes it all the harder.

Plus my back has been bothering me all week long. Even the chiropractor, which normally helps me, has made no difference. I've been in constant pain.

After a week nausea free, I've had a friend rear it's ugly head : food aversions. Day time it seems ok- I have oatmeal for breakfast, snack on fruit, eat a salad or sandwich for lunch, some crackers maybe for a snack. But come dinner time, this whole week it's been the same issue- I get so nauseous just thinking about food that I'm unable to eat.

As a result the husband and I have been fighting. He says he doesn't know what he's supposed to do. And to me it feels like he doesn't understand how much I'm going through right now. I'm the one not sleeping well from the back pain. I'm the one struggling at work. I'm the one having to make so many changes in my life. Gone are the days of having energy to socialise with friends or have a drink after work. Today he came home after a few happy hour drinks. He was hungry, assumed I'd eaten, he ate.

I sat fuming all the while. It was past 8, I was starving, and couldn't bring myself to eat anything.

Needless to say pregnancy hormones + nausea + hunger does not make for a happy wife.

I screamed more than I should have. I cried buckets of tears.

He went to sleep in the other room, making me even more furious.

I know my husband means well. I know I am basically acting like a stranger to him these days. And yet I don't know how to communicate my needs with him it seems. We've never had this problem before. But these days I feel like my moods are such a stranger to me myself, I don't know how to explain them to anyone else... And I'd almost say I resent that I am the one who has to go through all of this. I want acknowledgement from him almost constantly that he knows how much I'm going through. I want him to pamper me constantly to atone for this.

I'll probably delete this post before tomorrow because it feels a bit like I'm airing my dirty laundry. But I write this blog to be honest, and this is just what I'm feeling right now.

fetal doppler- help!

I had purchased a doppler at BrUs that didn't work at all. Waste of money, piece of junk.

Today I got the one I'd ordered on Amazon (at the reccomendation of several ladies on here)- the Baby Sounds Fetal Doppler. I found the heartbeat after a few minutes in my lower right belly area, way way down there. The digital reader seems off, but even counting ourselves I got around 80 heartbeats/minute, which seems too low to be the baby's.

Looking online, found this: "At times, the doppler picks up sounds from the mother's side of the placenta and relays her heartbeat instead of the fetus'."

I found my own heartbeat in my chest area and the count was around 80, so the one I'm picking up in my lower belly could very well be my own. Although it's weird that that's the only place on my belly area I can hear a heartbeat... even if it's my own.

Ladies who have experience with a doppler- how'd you find the baby's heartbeat? How did you differentiate it from your own?

14w3d

How far along: 14 weeks (and 3 days)!

Total weight change: 6 lbs. So 1 lb increase since last week. Which is a relief. I seemingly gained all 5 lbs in a short span, so I was dreading that that trend would continue, since my belly seems a whole lot bigger this week. It's atleast temporarily slowed down. My leg is healed and I'm to working out a few times a week not to mention my daily 40 minute walk to work/back home. Hoping this will help keep me strong and not gain more weight than reccomended.

Maternity clothes: I did a separate post on this. Not fitting into maternity wear quite yet, but regular pants are too tight. So I've been enjoying wearing dresses with tights for work, and living in leggings for my casual look.

Stretch marks: no. Still slathering on the Vaseline Cocoa Butter gel body oil

Sleep: on and off, but better than before I think. Friday I slept 14 hours- I was just exhausted. Other nights I sleep 7 or so, but it's back that makes it uncomfortable. Atleast I'm not waking up to pee anymore!!

Best moment this week: learning one of my best friends is also pregnant and she's a few weeks ahead of me. We have been having such a blast sharing our experiences and already planning play-dates for our kids during our respective maternity leaves.

Movement: nothing

Food cravings: still sour- bought a whole pineapple and cut it up, pleased with myself. Which didn't last long once I realised there are a lot of people online saying to not eat much pineapple while preggers as it brings on contractions?? Will have to ask my doctor. The intense craving for junk food has died down somewhat (I had fries yesterday!) but atleast I'm not wanting chips and fries and nuggets every day. Trying to eat better, and it's been mostly working.

Gender: still guessing it's a boy .. ?

What I miss: sushi still. We were at a dinner party last night and the cheese board looked amazing and full of exotic cheeses. I didn't risk it, but rest assured I gazed longingly at it all evening.

What I'm looking forward to next: just enjoying Spring with my little love (which helps as I'm feeling like my old self again in the 2T). It's finally warming up slightly here, and Spring looks to be on the horizon.

dressing for two

This is me. I don't look pregnant yet, just a little tubby around the belly. In the past week I'm daily astounded by the growing shape of my belly. Every day it seems rounder and more pronounced. Hello, little love, you are growing mighty fast!

Don't get me wrong, I am hugely excited to be pregnant and enjoying the journey of being pregnant as much as I can, BUT I am really struggling with the dressing part. I think I've mentioned on here before how much I enjoy clothes. They are my guilty pleasure, and I splurge often on some key quality pieces and enjoy wearing them tremendously.

Right now, I am too small to fit into pregnancy wear but not fitting into most of my normal clothes either. I had bought a pair of maternity work pants in my normal size, and I wore them to work Monday and they kept sliding down my belly, despite being elastic waisted and leaving an awkward bump under my sweater. On the other hand, most of my fitted office wear is way too tight or atleast not comfortable to wear. And these days comfort is paramount. So every morning before work is a semi battle. I've mostly been wearing dresses and tights, but yesterday I paired leggings with a longer tunic top. I've never worn leggings to work before, but comfort was crying my name.

So this is my conundrum. For non-work wear, I've been living in leggings/jeggings and am looking forward to Spring as I already have so many empire and maxi dresses that should be flattering on my pregnant shape. But it's the office wear that is trickey... Maybe once I fill out I'll enjoy buying and wearing maternity wear, but from the stuff I've seen so far the medium priced options are not too appealing. They're boxy and not flattering. And yes some designers make lovely, unique pieces but I have a hard time justifying paying those prices for a few months wear. It leaves me feeling decently priced and stylish maternity wear is a market no one's focused any attention on- what I need is a JCrew or Banana Republic maternity line?!

What have you all been wearing? Where have you been shopping?