2009 adieu

Happy New Yrs!

If it weren't for this little joy arriving at the end of the year, I would have labelled 2009 worst year ever. It was a tough year, that tested my sanity. Far too many tears... too many needles... too much raging hormones and confusion. It was also the year that our joint battle brought me and husband even closer. We celebrated our 5th wedding anniversary more in love than ever, and for that I am greatful.

And now as he dotes on me, wanting to take care of everything, it makes me realise how much we have to look forward in 2010 and how he'll be an excellent father.

My resolution for 2010 is to the focus on worrying less and enjoying the present more. I have so much that is good in my life, and though no one knows what tomorrow will bring I need to have the faith that everything will be ok.

Last night we called my parents to share the good news. They were ecstatic. Then we called my in-laws and they both started crying. It felt so good to share the news, that we know means as much to them as it does for us. They both said it was the best news to end 2009 on.

I hope 2010 brings to fruition everyone's wishes and is a less tough year than 2009. Hold tight to your hope- it works out.

Love, d

Beta #2

Dr's office called with Beta #2 results:

HCG: 240 18dpo
Progesterone: they're still only saying >20.

The HCG doubled!! (It was 114 16dpo)

Can we really believe this is happening now? On Monday, Husband and I had gone out for a really nice dinner at Buddakan for his birthday. I had gotten him a bunch of gifts, which I'd left at home, but I carried one with me. A special purchase I'd made that I wondered if I'd ever be able to give to him: a Dad's that are Expecting book.

He got teary eyed. That made my night.

It still feels unreal however. I had trouble sleeping again last night and when I had to visit the loo yet again, took a HPT... Just to make sure that second line is still there. And it was... Don't know if this feeling of doubt ever goes away?

Next up: OB scan next Wednesday.

the universe has it's own ideas

I had a semi-cold yesterday as the husband has had one. Last night it's gotten worse. Today it's a full fledged cold. I read that being pregnant lowers your immunity- strange how Jill had a cold right about now too. Since Husband's cold is now gone, I'm not going to worry myself about H1N1.

Though I may ask about this when I see the Dr. next week as we're heading to Mexico for a beach vacay next week.

Isn't it funny how the world conspires against you? Tired after month after month of BFN, this month I'd gone ahead and scheduled my first acunpuncture visit, a massage and signed up for a sushi making class. I've cancelled the first two and lost my $$ on the third. Now that I'm pregnant, I'm also wondering why I didn't enjoy the occassional drink... and sushi more. I won't really miss anything else other than sushi I think.

Other than the cold, I've been ravenous today. Otherwise no other symptoms.

Starting to feel anxious once again about tomorrow's beta.

I'm Pregnant!!

Dr's just called back.

My HCG was 114 (today is 16dpo)
My progesterone was > 20. That's all they would say.

Need to go do some research but I believe these are good numbers!!!

I CANNOT BELIEVE IT!

anxious!!

For the life of me I can’t shake my anxiety. I got into bed yesterday at 11pm.. tossed and turned and finally fell asleep at 3am. After another night of not sleeping well, got up at 7am to go in for the bloodwork. They’ll call this afternoon.

I don’t know why I’m having such a hard time with this. I have been having an on-off dull pain in my lower ab since yesterday. I have it right now as well. I asked the nurse who drew my blood if I should request a sonogram with the doctor, but she said he wouldn’t be able to spot anything now anyhow. Googling shows that it can be pretty normal to have some pain, and as long as it’s not accompanied by spotting, it’s safe.

Any of the recently pregnant ladies, feel this?

We want this so bad. I want to share the good news with my husband, who’s birthday it is today… and I want to enjoy this! But I just can’t seem to shake my anxiety. This is almost worse than the 2WW.

Please please keep me in your prayers, and hope for a good HCG and Progesterone number.

PCOS curse

So I am going in early tomorrow morning for bloodwork to confirm whether or not I'm pregnant.

I'm anxious.

I assume they'll check for HCG and Progesterone but I want to make sure everything is as good as it should be.

Ladies- was there anything else you tested for? When was the first ultrasound? I almost wish it'd be tomorrow, to get some sort of confirmation that everything is ok in there.

As happy as this news is for us, we haven't been able to celebrate in the elated fashion I thought we would. There's still the small nagging fear that things may not go the way we want... The curse of PCOS I suppose- you wait so long for this and yet there's still that nagging doubt. Starting today I've been doing a HPT every few hours... taking my temperature every few hours... Checking my panties to make sure AF hasn't decided to make an appearance... Dreading anything change. Ugh, wish I could just enjoy this.

another faint positive yesterday... and this morning a slightly darker faint positive. Period should have arrived, but hasn't.

Symptoms:
Sore breasts- wow, had no clue you'd feel it so soon. It hurts to the touch and being someone that's never slept with a bra on, that is no longer possible. Any movement and they hurt.

More frequent urination: I've never had to wake up in the middle of the night and pee, now I do

strange tummy aches: not really cramps... more similar to the ulcer pain I'd feel when I had ulcers... this was more right before/after implantation, but for about 4-5 days I had pretty bad lower ab pain. I didn't think it was anything related to this, because it didn't feel like anything I'd experienced in TTC before..

Slight on-off nausea: it's usually later in the day, but nothing unbearable. Perhaps because I have so much practice from Metformin nausea?

Waiting now not very patiently for bloodwork tomorrow... btw which is also Husband's birthday :)