10 weeks

I doubt anyone out there is still reading this space, but I was just going through some of my old posts from around the same time during my first pregnancy, and it was so helpful to have that record of how I was feeling/doing that I decided I wanted to document this pregnancy here too.

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10 weeks


How far along: 10 weeks!

Total weight change: -2lbs.  Compared to my first pregnancy (which was fantastic and I felt great the whole 10 months) this time around I have horrid nausea and fatigue. Combined with caring for a demanding toddler, there's not much time to laze around eating bon bons :).  Morning and afternoon is ok, but evening time is especially difficult with the smell of onions/spices/garlic setting me off.
Maternity clothes: oh my, from about 8 weeks, I started wearing maternity pants. My tummy feels already pretty prominent.
Stretch marks: no

Sleep: on and off. Mostly ok, but I don't recall feeling this uncomfortable this early on. Lying on my back is already a no-no and my back has also been bothering me.
Best moment this past week: last week's OB appointment where I got to see the little bub, who is taking on more human features. And hearing the heartbeat was pretty sweet too. This doesn't ever get old does it?

Movement: nope
Food cravings: sour: pineapples and raw mango doused in lime and chili, Thai food (esp raw papaya salad).
Gender: Everyone seems to be guessing male, since this pregnancy has been so drastically different thus far (nausea, breakouts, heartburn, none of the "glow" I had last time around)... but I've had two dreams now of a little girl, and my toddler keeps referring to "my sister".
What I miss: not much. Just so grateful to be pregnant again.
What I'm looking forward to next: NT scan in two weeks!
Milestones: 10 weeks... celebrating mother's day yesterday as mom of two!!!

BFP!

Do you see it?

This was month 3 of injectibles + clomid + 2 back to back IUIs, and tomorrow is the day period is supposed to arrive.

I have slight cramps, which adds to my worry, but have now gotten two BFPs in a row this evening (couldn't resist) despite getting a BFN yesterday.

SOOOO overjoyed, but as is typical with us ttc for a long timers- you want to rein in your excitement.  Will call doctor's for blood test tomorrow.

here we go again

Hello- anyone out there?!

It's been a long while since I last posted- update in short:

we've been busy enjoying our wonderful daughter and life.  Aftter the harrowing two year ordeal that was trying to get pregnant and the overwhelming anxiety once pregnant, the following two years has been just blissful.

Our baby has just been a gift- she was a relatively easy baby and it's only now with the terrible two's that we're finding parenthood a little more challenging.  She's vivacious, and spirited and just pure joy.  I resigned from work after my maternity leave, and spent a year at home with her.  Which was just amazing (challenging but amazing).  I returned back to work after she turned one, and have been back at work for over a year now.  It's been a challenge running a household, working a demanding job and being a present parent- but thankfully with a fantastic nanny and my uber-husband, we've made it work. We're still traveling (just got back from Mexico!) and enjoying life in Manhattan.

...

until we started talking about Numero Dos.

For us the motivating factor is wanting our daughter to have a sibling.  I don't miss the being pregnant or newborn phase, but we really want a brother/sister for R.

So we tried "normally", in the sense that I wasn't on any birth control, and although we didn't feel 100% ready we figured if it happened, that would be great. Well nothing happened. 

Then I started using a ovulation predictor kit and realised I was actually ovulating, and a visit to the Fertility Specialist delivered the verdict that everything looked good inside. I was having regular periods, and ovulating so he suggested we give it a bit longer.

Three months later of seriously trying, we started back with the injectibles and will be doing an IUI.

This cocktail of clomid + Gonal F + Ovidrel + IUI worked on the first try for us last time, so I'm really hoping it will be equally succesful this time.

I hate being back in the stirrups and injecting myself, but at the same time, having our daughter now, I don't feel the soul crushing desperation that I did last time around. 

So please keep your fingers crossed for us!

getting back in shape

Today Birdie slept an extra long nap giving me some time to get ready for a lunch date I had with a friend.

I love Fall, and fall clothes. I was super excited to have the time to actually think about what I was going to wear seeing I've been living in my maternity leggings and jeans. But lo and behold nothing really fit. Ok I wasn't expecting jeans to fit, but I thought for sure my pre-pregnancy jeggings or fitted shirts would. Um no. I had no clue my thighs increased in size so much since the jeggings refused to go beyond that area. And who knew my boobs had grown so much - none of the fitted shirts I tried fitted right. Wow a real wake up call.

I want to preface this by saying the process of pregnancy and giving birth gave me a whole new appreciation for just what my body is capable of. Like most women, I've had a love-hate relationship with my weight most of my life, but I was at an all time low with the toll PCOS/infertility took on it and the sense of feeling like my body was failing me. So I'm going to keep my goals realistic and in no way allow it to become obsessive. That being said I'd still like to return to a healthier weight for myself.

Yesterday marked 6 weeks since Birdie's birth and I have to admit I've been eating like crap. I've had little time to think about what I eat, and though I'm not eating a whole lot I'm surely getting extra calories from the cookies, bagels and donuts that have become too regular for comfort. It's not good for my insulin resistance and it surely can't be good for her either.

I want to commit to being a little more mindful of my eating habits. Now with 6 weeks behind us, motherhood isn't as overwhelming as it was, so I should be able to carve out some time for myself to plan meals in advance and to head to the gym.

Today keeping this in mind I handed Birdie over to husband when he got home (with a bottle of pumped milk in the fridge if needed) and headed downstairs to the gym. I have absolutely no excuse seeing I have a full fledged gym in my apartment building.

I'm starting slowly: 30 minutes on the treadmill. At a pace that actually got me sweating a little. And you know what? It felt really good. I am thinking of doing one of those from couch to 5k training things- it'll keep me movitated and challenge me.

I read that losing 1.5lbs/wk while breast feeding is totally ok. So this will be my goal for the 2olbs I'd like to lose. I'll let you know how it goes. Slow and steady wins the race!

we have a sleeper

It's been a solid month now that our little Birdie sleeps a solid 7 hours straight most night. Some nights it's 6 hours, some nights even 8 hours. Last night she slept 7 hours at which point I took her out of her crib to nurse her (more because my breasts were bursting with milk and painful). She nursed while still sleeping for 10 minutes and then pushed my nipple away. I put her back in her crib and it was another 3 hours before she woke up. Amazing right?!

She is a great night time sleeper, but daytime had been an issue. With her falling asleep at my lap and waking up as soon as she was put down. Now she gets about 2-3 naps a day (averaging about 2 hours each). Sometimes I put her on her tummy to nap, and other times I just let her nap on my lap on the Breast Friend while I am on the computer and other times she naps in her swing. During her awake hours she nurses constantly to make up for feedings, and when she's not eating she's become quite alert and interactive. We can actually leave her on her activity mat or in her crib (she LOVES her mobile) and as long as she's not hungry, she'll sit and "play" on her own for 30 minutes or so. Other times we just love holding her, singing to her, dancing with her, speaking with her etc.

I finally feel like I have the hang of this motherhood thing a bit better now (should I even say this?). We've become a lot more social, Birdie and I. My work place is a 15 minute walk from our apartment, so I've been meeting work friends for lunch or some friends have been stopping by the apartment to say hi. We've been doing weekly playdates (more for us at this point than the babies) once a week with one of my good friends who is also a new mommy. I was intially nervous about taking Birdie to a restaurant and attempting to eat lunch/have a conversation but she's been great. I've been sticking to some restaurants close by that have wide enough aisles for my wide bassinet stroller. I make sure to feed Birdie before we leave, and take a bottle of pumped milk with me to feed her if she needs it while we're lunching. Most times she's perfectly content looking around in her bassinet, mixed in with being held by me and my friends. We try and get out of the house almost every day for a short walk around the neighborhood. Having a bottle to take with me has made me a lot more confident about leaving the house!!

This is not to say it's at all easy (because it definitely isn't!!) but it is to say that things have gotten less overwhelming than in the beginning. And I'm actually starting to enjoy all of this and not wonder as much how we'll get through it. Part of it is us knowing our little baby and her cues better, part of it is being more confident in my own mothering abilities and a big part of it is also being acclimated to our new lives and routines.

Adventures in pumping

... who knew this would be so challenging? Is it just me or is there SO much to read about every topic, with everything (from the Bjorn to soothing a fussy baby) requiring a phD to master?

I had wanted to hold out on pumping until atleast 3 weeks to give my milk a chance to come in and establish a nursing bond with my daughter without bringing in the pump. Last week I finally brought out my Medela InStyle Advanced (two boobs at once!) and excitedly tried pumping.

Test 1: My excitement quickly turned to dissapointment- I wasn't expecting a full bottle, but I was definitely thinking it'd be more than .75 ounces (combined from both breasts, for a 15 minute pump session)?! Especially since I've been soaking my breast pads, and Birdie had seemed to be perfectly nursing at each session. Not to mention, she awoke early from her nap and wanted to nurse 20 minutes after I'd pumped and I don't think she got enough milk despite nursing longer than usual, leaving me one cranky baby. I'd read that babies were much better at getting milk out of the breast and pumping 30 mins before feeding still left enough milk for the baby? I guess not.

Test 2: I did some reading of tips online and tried pumping after she'd nursed, to build my supply and encourage more milk production. Day 2 results: after 3 day time sessions (for abt 10 minutes each time), I had about 2 ounces total and Birdie wasn't cranky since she'd already fed.

Test 3: My baby girl sleeps 6-7 hours straight night time, so I thought I'd pump 3 hours after she'd fallen asleep, thinking this would be 3 hours before she awoke and my breasts are usually heavy and painful when I finally nurse her. A 15 minute session got me 2 ounces of milk which was exciting, but for some reason baby girl awoke an hour after I'd pumped, and from my observation I don't think she got enough milk. I ended up feeding her 1 ounce (of the 2 I'd just pumped) after she'd nursed on both breasts. It was only after this that our crying baby fell back asleep.

I now have about a 4 ounce bottle sitting in the fridge, which seems enough for one short outing. So I haven't done any pumping today. Which I know isn't a good idea in terms of encouraging milk production, but I feel guilty since I seem to be not feeding my baby enough by trying to pump simultaneously?

Birdie had her 4 week appointment today and she's gained the right amount of weight (1 pound in two weeks) so she's obviously getting enough nutrition and I'm producing enough milk. But any tips for how I simultaneously nurse her and try storing some away?

What's worked for you ladies to get more milk? When to pump? For how long?

My Medela has an automatic "let down" function every few minutes it seems. And I've been pumping at the 5 of 7 levels, which is as high as i can tolerate without it being overly painful. Already drinking tons of water, eating oatmeal daily, and eating a healthy diet.

24 days

What's new in Birdie land? Isn't it a wonder how much a newborn changes daily! Each day, she is becoming more and more interactive. Yesterday I was greeting her post-nap with my usual huge smile and "mommy loves you" repeated in silly voices and I got a tiny smile back. I quickly called her daddy, and she did it again leaving me and husband jumping for joy. Oh how your definition of "success" changes. Lately give me several wet diapers and chubbier by the day cheeks and I feel like I'm having the best day ever.

I've been feeling slightly lonely recently- we still are not going out much, other than for walks around the neighborhood and I'd been mostly discouraging visitors trying to get a hang of Birdie's needs/routine first and it's easier dealing with her fussy moods without guests around. Today I had my pregnancy buddy (who's little boy is two months old) come over for a play-date and she was absolutely surprised at how alert and active Birdie is. She loves being held up with her chin resting on my shoulder and observing the world with her neck held straight. Our little one came out of my womb eyes wide open, and she was lifting her neck from day one. Now she turns her head to follow noises, makes eye contact and stares for long periods of time with an intense gaze and new faces/art work... I'm also feeling far more confident about having folks over, so we are going to start having friends over more often now.

So we're doing better, both her and I. I feel like every day is a learning day, and we're surely (albeit slowly) learning how to read her moods, how to soothe her etc. Not saying by any means that I'm an expert, but somethings that have helped recently:

• white noise: husband discovered that Birdie loved the sound of the faucet on when she was having one of her crying fits. Since then I've downloaded the white noise app on my iPhone and she falls asleep well to the sound of waves or rain fall. It's been a life saver
• sleeping on her tummy: I know this one is controversial but we realised that the reason our little one may be so fussy day time is that she wasn't napping at all. She'd fall asleep nursing and would sleep on my lap but as soon as I put her down in her crib, she'd be awake a few minutes later. Now I let her sleep on my lap for longer until she's in deep sleep, and for one afternoon nap I transfer her to my bed and lay her on her belly. I get a book and sit on the bed next to her and keep a close eye on her. She sleeps really well this way and gets in atleast one afternoon 2 hour nap. She's been a whole lot unfussier as a result. My mom said when we were babies, we usually slept on our bellies and that it really helps a baby with intestinal issues/gas etc. Whatever it is- it works!
• Burping: I'd try burping her and sometimes she's let one out, but often times after a minute or two I'd give up. Now I make sure to get a good burp out of her after each feeding. New positions have helped: for Birdie, bouncing her in my lap for a few seconds and then cupping her chin and leaning her over slightly seem to work usually. The position I was taught with her resting on my shoulder, tapping her back rarely worked for us.
• Not over stimulating her: it goes against instinct. Usually when she's fussy, we'd try everything under the roof to see if it'd work, and in doing that overstimulate her even more it seems. Now we try to keep things as calm as possible and maybe try one or two things at most, and she calms down easier
• Evening massage time: I use warm organic extra virgin olive oil and give my little one a gentle massage. Back home, babies get massages twice a day and it is said to help with everything from circulation to easing their growing pains and aid in relaxing them. We've started giving Birdie a massage each evening to establish some resemblance of a routine- I'll nurse her around 9pm, we'll do a massage, diaper change, pajamas, and then one more feeding before rocking her to sleep around 11pm. She sleeps really well after this.

These are small tricks that have worked for us. It's interesting how each baby is so different- after a few fussy evenings, we offered her a pacifier and she wouldn't take it (tried Avent, Nuk, Soothie..). She also doesn't like the Swing that so many blog parents have raved about.

My breast pump arrived today so I'm beyond excited to try that out and hopefully become more mobile as a result. Last weekend, husband and I ventured a little further from home than we had with Birdie and went to do some cold weather clothing shopping for her. She was behaving fine, so we even bought some coffee and falafel sandwiches to enjoy in the park. I used my nursing cape to feed her in public (a first! and it wasn't so bad other than my aching arms...). I was glad to see I was fine doing this, but I still think pumping will be easier in NY. Especially now as it gets chillier.

So that's our update. My little one has been sleeping 6-8 hours straight most nights (we checked with her dr and she said up to 8 hours was fine and not to wake her up to feed her!!) which has been amazing. Granted I'm still getting up every hour or two to check on her, but it's still amazing. She is usually famished when she does wake up and I think we make up for it day time by having lots and lots of nursing time.

In short that is how we're doing- I've never been more tired, and at times I miss mini-aspects of my pre-baby life (dying to go Fall shopping!!) but each and every day with Birdie is so much fun and I'm loving motherhood. Especially as we learn more about our babe and how to keep her calm and happy :)

2 weeks

(husband and Birdie, hand in hand)

My little Birdie is 16 days today. I still have a hard time believing it. On the one hand, it feels like she's been ours forever. On the other, when I was uploading her just born photos online, I couldn't believe how much she'd changed already. Time seems to be going just too fast!

We haven't had too many visitors, still getting used to our new family unit, and Birdie's unpredictable schedule.. But the other day, my good friend H who had a baby 2 months ago stopped by with her little man. I'd seen him when he was two weeks old, and it blew both me and my friend away how huge he looked in comparision to Birdie (who looked teeny tiny at 7.3 lbs). As gorgeous as he looked and as envious as I was of his playfullness, it hit me just how she won't be by tiny newborn for very much longer (sniff).



...Thanks ladies for inquiring how we're doing. I am doing fine- first two weeks I had the typical soreness and tiredness but I think all things considered, I did pretty well in terms of recovery. I was definitely overwhelmed and may just now be getting out of the "dazed" phase but I feel good physically. The big thing for me is sleep, and (knock on wood) Birdie's been sleeping a good 5-6 hour stretch every night for the past ten days. I've gotten better at falling asleep when she does. Once she wakes, I change her diaper, nurse her, and on good days she goes right back to sleep for another 3 hours, and on not so good days, I'll have to rock her and she'll fall back asleep after an hour or so. Still, I consider myself incredibly blessed to be getting 6-7 hours of sleep a night with a newborn! Armed with some sleep, I find myself far better able to deal with the day to day crazyness of life with a newborn.



So how is Birdie doing... First few days, she was fine. Then my milk came in (I seem to be a milk producing machine) and she gained the weight she had lost after birth. Her poo became the yellow mucuousy dream poo they tell you to look out for, she was napping day time, and sleeping night time. And then bam all of a sudden around day 10 she's become fussy. I think our poor girl is having reflux issues, so after talking to the nurse at the Pediatrician's, I've started feeding her on a slight incline, keeping her upright 5-10 minutes after feeding and placing her head on a soft baby pillow. It seems to have helped, and some days she's an absolute angel, and others, she won't nap and tires herself out. Yesterday for ex (my second day home alone), from 7am-5pm we basically did this routine: diaper change, feed, she falls asleep at my nipple after 10 minutes, I rock her and when I transfer her to her crib, she awakens almost immediately, and starts wailing. The only thing that comforts her is to be fed more... Everyone and their mother tells you to get them to feed longer, but it's easier said then done.



While pregnant, I had this image that we'd go on walks and I'd still be out and about with my newborn, but with her constant feeding (and my not being very comfortable with feeding in public), and my seemingly thin skin when she cries, means we've been staying home mostly. In the evenings, we'll take her for a stroll in her pram, but I only seem to be able to do that if husband is with me. I am trying to hold out until she's three weeks old to pump and am hoping after that we'll be much more mobile. I even gave in and offered her a pacifier the other day after hours of wanting to suckle, and she wouldn't take it. It was the Avent Silicone newborn one. I'm thinking maybe I'll try another brand for when she's super fussy.



I don't mean to make it all sound bad. This morning, Birdie and I danced around to Beyonce for a good twenty minutes. Each and every time I look at her sweet face, it still takes my breath away. I greet her with a kiss each and every time she awakens wanting to be fed, because I am in still in awe this little being is ours. Diaper change isn't as gross as they make it out to be (I even enjoy our little diaper change song :). And when your little one smiles (even if it may not be a real smile) the way your heart melts is unlike anything else...But I also want to be truthful about how hard motherhood has been. If she doesn't cry, I have endless patience and could probably rock her 24 hours a day if need be. But something changes within me when she cries and I can't soothe her, I seem to loose it :(



So a few questions for you new mothers:

when did you start leaving the house regularly with your newborn?

any tips for soothing a fussy baby?

what do you do when your baby wails in public?



I also just want to say that with all the time I spend nursing, I'm glued to my iPhone and read all your blog posts... just haven't figured out how to comment using the iPhone Blogger app. So even if I've been silent on here, I've been lurking on your blogs :)

Little Love is here

Our little miracle arrived Sept 13 in the evening. She is every bit as wonderful as we'd imagined.

After two nights in the hospital, we came home and have been busy since getting to know each other. And learning all about parenthood and understanding our daughter.

It's been... hard. Everyone tells you it will be, but for me the "surprise" was more how hard it has been to manage both my own body's healing/changes and the needs of our little baby. All things considered, we're doing pretty well. Especially on nights where little love sleeps 5 hours straight (this happened last night!!).

It's also been... fun. She is absolutely beautiful and interactive, and came out of the womb eyes wide open. And has been exactly the personality I'd envisioned her to be from her movements in my belly (stubborn, strong, a bit diva ;).

I have started and saved her birth story so many times... just haven't gotten to finish it. So I thought I'd atleast update you all to know she's arrived, and that we're doing wonderful.

41w3d- still no baby

Ok ladies this is getting ridiculous.

I went in Thursday for a sono and little girl is snug as a bug and happy in the womb. Too happy it seems. Amniotic fluid levels were good too. And I still feel movement all day long.

She checked me and I was finally 1 cm dilated. Woohoo. I also requested she strip my mebranes and she did. I asked about castor oil and seeing I was dilated, she said it was worth trying since I'm hoping to avoid being induced.

Long story short, I took 3 tblsp of castor oil that night, and spent a few hours in the loo and then had 5 hours of intense contractions. Even called the OB at 5am, when the contractions were 5 mins apart. She said we could either go into the hospital or labor a little longer at home. We decided on the latter, and spent the time showering, getting the hospital bag ready etc. Lo and behold, two hours later, contractions started getting farther apart and eventually dissapearing. The OB called to check in and when I told her what had happened, she said it must be early stage labor and could last days.

Which it has. All of yesterday, last night and today I've had cramping and contractions (ranging randomly 10-30 minutes apart). I cannot say how frustrating and annoying this is. Not to mention painful. Add to this that I seem to have to go to the loo after everything I eat, resulting in painful hemarroids. I guess it's not punishment enough to have pain in your belly and back... pain in the ass has to be added to the equation.

:(

My induction was to be scheduled for tomorrow, but the hospital was fully booked, so now I have been told to show up Monday night. On the one hand, it gives me one more day to hope baby girl makes her appearance naturally. But on the other hand, I'm just tired of this.

how is this even possible?

Impatient to wait until tomorrow, I had the OB's sneak me in for an appointment today.

We did the NST- baby girl is apparently moving alot per usual in there and has a great heartbeat.

The OB checked me and.... still NOT DILATED at all!!! She seemed surprised. I even more so.

Really? I'm practically 41 weeks. How is that even possible?

I go back in Thursday for a sonogram.

And then if baby girl is still not here come Sunday, they will induce.

I am hoping to avoid that... though seeing how my body seems to be making no progress, it is a real possibility.

I asked the OB about castor oil today, and she said it doesn't harm, but she doesn't think it'd help either. That if I don't mind bouts of diahrrhea to give it a try... Has anyone tried drinking castor oil to bring on contractions?

Baby girl is still not here

I am 5 days past my due date, almost 41 weeks along.

I still have no real "signs". Have been cramping on and off, especially night time. Get really strong BH, especially when I go for my twice a day walks. TMI, but I've been going number 2 after every single meal (which I read somewhere is a sign?). But I've had all of these things for almost two weeks now, with no change.

I've been trying many forms of natural labor induction- nothing's worked:

I ate one whole pinapple- no result

I've been walking 3 miles daily- no result

Nipple simulation- no result

Love making- no result

Eating spicy food on a daily basis- no result

It's probably because I don't see any progression, I continue to feel really discouraged :( I haven't tried Castor Oil yet, but if the OB tells me I'm dilated at my next appt, I just may.

The Dr's was closed today, but I'm calling them first thing tomorrow to see if they'll fit me in tomorrow. I don't want to wait until Wednesday and I'm nervous that they haven't seen me since last Monday.

Thanks ladies for answering my Q in my last post. New Q for you: how exactly did BH feel different from real contractions? Usually BH for me lasts minutes at a time. I still don't get how long the real contractions last- is it just a sharp pain and tightening for a few seconds? And you time until the next one? Was it always accompanied by back ache? Having a hard time telling if I'm still only having much stronger BH or if these are contractions... ?

40 weeks

Today is baby girl's due date.

If it wasn't already obvious- she isn't here yet.

I had another OB appointment Monday (last week's was just last Friday)- no progress. No dilation. No nothing. To make matters even more annoying, the OB's office is moving this week so they were closed all of the week and saw me Monday as a result. My next appointment is not until next Wednesday, at which point I'll be 41 weeks.

Sensing my dissapointment perhaps (?), the OB was telling me about the impending storm (Earl I guess) and how the L&D ward was quiet last week and the Dr's and nurses were joking about the calm before the storm and expecting a lot of births this week. Something about barometric pressure leading to labor... I don't know. I had my hopes up with the full moon theory, so I know better than to put too much stock into this one.. But I still am hoping... Let's see.

I'm still feeling pretty bummed out. But I have to say one sleepless night I started looking on my archives on this blog and came across the post I'd made Aug 2009, titled "hearbreak" where I was at my lowest point and questioned whether I had it in me to continue the IF battle. Reading that brought tears to my eyes, and made me say aloud "I have no right to complain". How far we've come in a year's time. But maybe it's because of how long we were TTC, plus the 9 months of pregnancy and waiting, but I feel like we've been waiting for this little one for years now. If I ever come across as ungrateful on this blog, please know I count my blessings daily. We're just a little impatient to meet our little miracle.

39w4d

How far along: too far along it feels like. Due date is 4 days away.

Sleep: I had two whole weeks of sleeplessness. Nothing worked. Not even Tylenol PM, which for me always had. I tossed and I turned. I tried sleeping sitting up. Nothing. The first week was terribly difficult since I was trying to finish everything at work. I started maternity leave this Monday and was hoping I'd atleast get to sneak in naps... even that never happened. You reach this state of constant tiredness but sleep eludes you... Cannot tell you how frustrating that is. I don't even want to type this in case I jinx myself, but last night I slept a good 8 hours, even managing to fall back asleep after 2 pee breaks. And even got in a 2 hour nap this afternoon. Let's hope that lasts!!

Movement: constant. I can tell she's napping in longer spurts, but once she's awake and especially after I eat, she's a bundle of energy kicking and dancing. And she's big enough that it is actually painful these days if she moves in quick movements or delivers her signature kicks... People can see my belly shake from the outside. I do cherish these moments though, as I realise she has to come out at some point (though she seems to have no intention to)...

Best moment this week: my mom is here and having her feel my belly was pretty special. Although we'd already bought most things, I'd purposefully left a few things unpurchased so that my mom could feel part of the experience. She really enjoyed picking out the coming home from hospital outfit.

Food cravings: not really cravings, but as of this week I seem to have my appetite back in full force. Baby girl's definitely dropped and the heart burn has eased and I'm eating a lot more.

What I miss: nothing really at this point. Though we have a big bottle of my favorite champagne ready for the hospital, and I know I'll enjoy that.

How I'm doing: frustrated I have to say. Time lately has been going at a snail's pace. I'd somehow convinced myself she'd come early... and was thinking maybe I'd be lucky with the full moon on the 24th... which passed w/no baby. And then husband and I had been thinking maybe today the 28th. Not sure why but from the very start of my pregnancy, whenever anyone asked, I'd keep telling people my due date was the 28th... it'd just slip out as if it was some sign. Today passes with no baby... I had a doctor's appointment yesterday, and the OB said I hadn't made much progress from last week. My cervix is lowered and riper (I guess that is the term- ie softened) but still no dilation. I think she sensed my dissapointment so she tried saying how some women progress into full labor over night... but I couldn't help feel blue all of yesterday. I'm just ready for her to be here. It doesn't help to constantly have people calling and texting asking if she's here yet. I know they mean well, but it's yet another reminder that she'd not... :(

BUT we're taking advantage of this time to enjoy the end of NY summer fully. The weather had been beautiful here with weather in the 80s and blue skies- we've been dining at some of our favorite restaurants, it's been great spending time with my mom (who's been marveling at my energy levels) not to mention sneaking in some late night socialising with friends. Last night we went to a friend's birthday soire at a chic rooftop bar- everyone (these are friends who have never been pregnant, and seem to have some notion that pregnant ladies are on bed-rest or something) seemed puzzled I was still out in my 39th week in heels sipping Perrier. Hey, sitting at home doesn't help.

So that is my update. Trying to make the most of these last few days (I HOPE!) but also feeling dissapointed everyday that she doesn't make an appearance.

I don't know if the ladies who've birthed recently felt any premonition or "signs" before labor? But I feel nothing. Some slight cramping.. my belly is noticeably lower... more toilet visits. But that's it. I don't know but I expected that maybe I'd feel some stronger contractions at this stage, and although I am having stronger B-H, they are still B-H...

She isn't here yet- 38w5d

First of all congrats to the lovely ladies Katie, Jill, Jenn, and Amber. It's strange how happy I feel for these ladies, who I don't know in real life, to have followed your pregnancies and now see you with your miracles.

It also makes me all that more impatient for our little girl to arrive. No update. She's still seemingly cozy in her home of 9 months.

I have been feeling a little stronger Braxton-Hicks the past few days, noticed some slight spotting yesterday, no sight of the mucus-plug and at last week's appointment I was still not dilated. OB said my cervix had just lowered and was riper.

Body is increasingly finding it uncomfortable to move around with this huge belly. I haven't slept a good night's sleep in weeks. Most days the heart burn makes it hard to eat. Considering all of this, I'm actually looking forward to labor.

Have you heard of the full moon story? Apparently the gravitational pull on full moon nights causes women who have due dates around the full moon's water to break. I asked my OB and she confirmed that most hospitals increase staff on full moon nights.

Tonight is a full moon. Could this be it?

almost 38 weeks

Nursery- ready
stroller- ready
clothes- laundered
hospital bag- mostly packed
support team- husband is ready and mom arrives from Asia Saturday
me- ready to labor
.....
only thing not yet ready? baby girl's name.

A name is such a big thing. And how we pick and name a child is so culturally specific. Back home, children often don't have a name for a few months. They're initially called by nicknames/terms of endearment, and once the parents have gotten to know their child they'll find a name that is suitable. This to me is how a child should be named. Unfortunately, I am giving birth in the US and it will require us to have a name before I can leave the hospital.

We've shortlisted 3 names that could be possibilities. But none of the three feels completely "right". We were discussing this with my parents and I think it's because we haven't met her yet.

So here's hoping to the name clicking once baby girl makes her entrance, otherwise we may be in trouble :)

37 weeks...

... and we're full term!

Today we also had our last pre-natal preparedness class. The nurse at the end said "Ok now you're all ready". It felt a little surreal.

:)

To say I never thought we'd see this day would be an understatement.

Tomorrow even if it's with a bottle of sparkling grape juice the husband and I will celebrate. To this amazing gift we've been given, and to the journey ahead.

hospital bag- what to take?

I know there are these exhaustive lists out there of things to take to the hospital... being a minimalist I want to just take the essentials.

Speaking to the nurse at our pre-natal class, she suggested:

robe
toiletries
birthing ball
music
hard candy
champagne for the fridge
laptop (they have wifi)
outfit to bring baby home in
chargers for phone/laptop

updated with suggestions from wonderful ladies in the comments:

camera (duh how did I forget!)
chapstick
socks
baby book (for foot prints)
nursing bra/tank

almost full term- 36.5 weeks

How far along: 37 weeks in 4 days!

Total weight gain: 32lbs since the start

Sleep: almost non-existant. It takes me hours of tossing and turning before I finally fall asleep around 3am. I get up around 7am to go to the bathroom and then can't fall asleep again. I've been heading to work early, and getting through the day has been really hard. I'm dead tired by the time I get home but try not to sleep that early. By the time 10pm rolls around, sleep has escaped again. It's a very strange feeling- to be so tired but not to be able to sleep. Every few days I've been taking Tylenol PM to get atleast a decent few hours of sleep so that I can continue functioning. It's getting to be increasingly impossible to focus at work and to think I still have so much to get done before my maternity leave starts in 2 weeks :(

Movement: constantly. She actually shifts from one side to the other and we can see it from the outside. She's head down, so this is her bum we see- kind of cute :) Lately when I walk I get really intense Braxton-Hicks which cause me to stop and catch my breath. Any one else get these?

Best moment this week: having pretty much everything done- crib here and installed, stroller put together, all the essentials purchased, diapers and wipes in the cabinet. Only thing I really have left to do is wash her clothes. My husband's colleague's wife was due same date as me- she gave birth 4 weeks early last week- they're both doing well thank god- but it really kicked me into gear to get everything ready. This week I'm focusing on cleaning up the closets some more to get rid of stuff and make room for baby stuff, and finishing decorating little girl's room. I suppose before 37 weeks I should also put my hospital bag together?

Food cravings: lemon popsickles and cold cold watermelon

What I miss: sleep

What I'm looking forward to next: being full term ... starting my weekly appointments.... and strangely looking forward to my first internal exam next week to see if I'm dilated/effaced at all.

almost 36 weeks

Gosh so many thoughts on my mind and don't even know where to begin.

I've been following all your blogs on google reader on my iPhone but can't figure out how to comment. So in order to comment I have to log onto my laptop and remember what I wanted to say... And these days I'm LAZY :)

So... since the last post we did the hospital tour. I have been immensely impressed so far with both my hospital and the nurses. The pre-natal classes we're taking are taught by a L&D nurse from the hospital and she has such a holistic and natural approach, that it's been really comforting. (Granola as the husband calls it).

Also in the course of the class we've realised that almost every single thing on our birth plan is already done automatically so we will not need to fight for it.

For ex:

the birthing rooms are really decorated in calm colors, with much of the medical equipment hidden behind you. The bed itself has a bar, a mirror and allows for squatting and other positions. The hospital encourages movement throughout labor for as long as you can. Drugs are provided on a request basis and you're encouraged to discuss beforehand with your doctor what your preferences are.

the baby will be handed over to me right after birth, as that is standard practice. They also highly encourage in-room nursing and only take the baby away if it's requested by the mother

they offer a complimentary breastfeeding class and are certified by the WHO as a breastfeeding friendly hospital.

etc etc

All of this has flown in the face of what I'd read the hospital experience would be.. on some blogs as well as books like the Ina May Guide to Birth... My friend who works in hospital administration tells me that "baby friendly" certified hospitals are still a rarity in the US, and perhaps my hospital is more of an exception than the norm, but I feel lucky to be birthing in a place that is so mother-centric. It's comforting.

I had been feeling some slight anxiety about the birthing process a few weeks back but what's always helped me is arming myself with information. So while we'd been reading a ton about the baby, I hadn't really looked into the actual process of birthing. Focusing on that for the past week or two has really helped me to feel like I know what the differnent options out there are, that every l&d is unique.. and somehow that information makes me feel like I'll be fine.

Now the next subject to research is the post-delivery recovery. A friend who gave birth two weeks ago was saying the actual labor and delivery was nothing in comparision to how painful recovery has been for her.. Any days who've birthed recently want to comment.

You think you're finally ahead on all you need to know, only to find out there's so much more to learn about!!

What else... the nursery is coming together. We just have a few more items to order and then we're all ready for lady love's arrival. How I'm feeling will be the subject of another post, as sleeplessness and back aches are still plaguing me... Ah the joys!!