Thursday, August 27, 2009

heart break

today I encountered heart break.

I got my period. This was the first time since we started our fertility journey that I felt everything was in place, and it had to work. This time.

We did the clomid. We did the ovidrel. I abstained from drink all month. I patted my belly, thinking positive thoughts. Wanting so much for everything to turn out right. I had the implantation cramps on the right day, my temperature was up each morning... I even had some nausea.

And then yesterday morning my temperature dipped, and dipped further today. We knew it had come to an end. And still I took a pregnancy test this morning, the nausea leading me to. It was negative. In the middle of the day at work, period arrived. Kicking a big hole in my heart.

It was an awful day. I feel hope-less. I fell gutted. I feel devoid of energy to continue this battle with my womb.

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