39w4d

How far along: too far along it feels like. Due date is 4 days away.

Sleep: I had two whole weeks of sleeplessness. Nothing worked. Not even Tylenol PM, which for me always had. I tossed and I turned. I tried sleeping sitting up. Nothing. The first week was terribly difficult since I was trying to finish everything at work. I started maternity leave this Monday and was hoping I'd atleast get to sneak in naps... even that never happened. You reach this state of constant tiredness but sleep eludes you... Cannot tell you how frustrating that is. I don't even want to type this in case I jinx myself, but last night I slept a good 8 hours, even managing to fall back asleep after 2 pee breaks. And even got in a 2 hour nap this afternoon. Let's hope that lasts!!

Movement: constant. I can tell she's napping in longer spurts, but once she's awake and especially after I eat, she's a bundle of energy kicking and dancing. And she's big enough that it is actually painful these days if she moves in quick movements or delivers her signature kicks... People can see my belly shake from the outside. I do cherish these moments though, as I realise she has to come out at some point (though she seems to have no intention to)...

Best moment this week: my mom is here and having her feel my belly was pretty special. Although we'd already bought most things, I'd purposefully left a few things unpurchased so that my mom could feel part of the experience. She really enjoyed picking out the coming home from hospital outfit.

Food cravings: not really cravings, but as of this week I seem to have my appetite back in full force. Baby girl's definitely dropped and the heart burn has eased and I'm eating a lot more.

What I miss: nothing really at this point. Though we have a big bottle of my favorite champagne ready for the hospital, and I know I'll enjoy that.

How I'm doing: frustrated I have to say. Time lately has been going at a snail's pace. I'd somehow convinced myself she'd come early... and was thinking maybe I'd be lucky with the full moon on the 24th... which passed w/no baby. And then husband and I had been thinking maybe today the 28th. Not sure why but from the very start of my pregnancy, whenever anyone asked, I'd keep telling people my due date was the 28th... it'd just slip out as if it was some sign. Today passes with no baby... I had a doctor's appointment yesterday, and the OB said I hadn't made much progress from last week. My cervix is lowered and riper (I guess that is the term- ie softened) but still no dilation. I think she sensed my dissapointment so she tried saying how some women progress into full labor over night... but I couldn't help feel blue all of yesterday. I'm just ready for her to be here. It doesn't help to constantly have people calling and texting asking if she's here yet. I know they mean well, but it's yet another reminder that she'd not... :(

BUT we're taking advantage of this time to enjoy the end of NY summer fully. The weather had been beautiful here with weather in the 80s and blue skies- we've been dining at some of our favorite restaurants, it's been great spending time with my mom (who's been marveling at my energy levels) not to mention sneaking in some late night socialising with friends. Last night we went to a friend's birthday soire at a chic rooftop bar- everyone (these are friends who have never been pregnant, and seem to have some notion that pregnant ladies are on bed-rest or something) seemed puzzled I was still out in my 39th week in heels sipping Perrier. Hey, sitting at home doesn't help.

So that is my update. Trying to make the most of these last few days (I HOPE!) but also feeling dissapointed everyday that she doesn't make an appearance.

I don't know if the ladies who've birthed recently felt any premonition or "signs" before labor? But I feel nothing. Some slight cramping.. my belly is noticeably lower... more toilet visits. But that's it. I don't know but I expected that maybe I'd feel some stronger contractions at this stage, and although I am having stronger B-H, they are still B-H...