energy? I hardly recognize you

Is this 2nd trimester fabulousness?

My evening time nausea seems to have dissapeared and as of today I feel a whole lot more energetic.

Energetic enough to actually deep clean my apartment (or atleast start the process), go do a real grocery shopping trip and make dinner.

We have a 2 bedroom 900sq ft apartment in Manhattan, which is a luxury compared to the shoe-box most of our friends live in. We have decent closet space, once again for this city, but compared to the attics and garages I hear the rest of America talking about, I'm talking about 4 good size closets.

Twice a year I swap the winter and summer clothes and rest of the year they're stored under the bed. Today looking at my closet, I realised I'm not going to be able to wear most of what is in there for another 6 months, so I started the process of organizing my closet. My fitted workwear is all being stored, with only the skirts and dresses staying put. I figure Spring will be here soon so this gives me a head start.

Husband and I have also agreed we'll do a major purge, getting rid of a lot of stuff that's sitting unused anyhow, to make space for baby's stuff. The guest room will have to double as the baby room. And for the near future, that should be fine. We really plan to try our hardest to not accumulate too much baby stuff, which is pretty standard here in the city as no one has extra space.

I figure I'll take advantage of the days when I actually have energy and start this process of making our home ready for our baby. Husband was remarking earlier how much our lives have changed- a Saterday night spent at home cleaning?? He says he barely recognizes me :)

PS: just realised today I went to the gym after about a 3 month hiatus... thinking that the connection between the energy and the workout (even as low-key as it was) is a sure thing

13 weeks

How far along: 13 weeks! Thir-teeeeen weeks folks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Total weight change: almost 5 lbs! I can't believe it. I went from a negligible 1lb gain to suddenly gaining 5 lb over the course of a week! Is that even possible?? Seriously going to start watching what I eat from now forward.

Maternity clothes: can't bring myself to wear the one pair of maternity work pants I bought. All I want to live in these days is leggings. At this point, I just look fat... like I ate too much. Actually looking forward to having a larger belly and looking pregnant, vs just fat.

Stretch marks: no

Sleep: on and off. Some nights I sleep fine... like last night where I fell asleep at 11pm and woke up at 7am, not having woken up once and slept the most restful 8 hours of deep sleep...but other nights I have to pee almost every 2 hours. Insane. Oh and my back's been killing me, making it uncomfortable to sleep as well. Started seeing my chiropractor again.

Best moment this week: easily the NT scan sonogram on Tuesday

Movement: I had something about 2 weeks back that felt like flutters in my belly. I know everyone will laugh and say it's too early, but it wasn't ligament pain and it wasn't gas as those feel distinctly different. That hasn't happened since. I can't wait to start feeling the little one!

Food cravings: McD chicken nuggets, sour things, french fries, apples, mangoes, pineapple, yogurt

Gender: I don't know why but when I think of this baby, I think of it as male and find myself referring to it as a "he"?! Have any of you pregnant ladies had similar strong feelings?

What I miss: sushi!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Though today for lunch I had a tempura roll and a (cooked) shrimp and avocado roll. I could eat sushi every day.

What I'm looking forward to next: the next visit with the OB, next week

Milestones: 2nd Tri!!

NT scan results, 12w5d

Today we went in for our eagerly anticipated NT scan. I didn't sleep well last night, waiting eagerly for it to be morning. It wasn't anxiety so much as it was excitement to see the little one we haven't seen for some 5 weeks now.

And oh my what a scan it was!

It was a blustery, rainy, dreary day that just called for a jolt of caffeine. Husband picked up a small latte for me before we went in. Maybe it was the caffeine but the little one was bouncing all over the place. Flailing it's arms one moment, kicking it's legs the other, and at one time even flipping around and showing us it's bottom :) After 5 minutes of these histrionics, little love fell asleep sucking it's thumb. I was crying tears of joy, coupled with fits of laughter through the scan that lasted around 10 minutes. Our sonographer was just so lovely and patient explaining what we we seeeing and working hard to get us a good view!

The hospital we went to for the scan actually had us see the genetic counsellor first. I was a little worried about this as my instant thought was whether something had been detected in the blood work I'd mailed in. But no, this is normal procedure. The counsellor went over what the test would measure for and what the measurements meant. She was really patient and explained it all very well. We then went for the scan and then saw her again with the results. All clear on all fronts, so that was nice to hear.

I cannot tell you what an emotional day this morning was for me. In a way I felt like I met my child for the first time. It's amazing how clearly "baby like" they look by this stage- with a prominent nose and pouty lips and very human like movements. All I could think was how in love with this baby I already was and how excited I am to meet it. And truth be told, I feel like a mama already :) which is such a neat feeling.

Just wanted to share the happy news!

Hello ICLW!

I'm a PCOS'er, labelled as infertile, who now finds herself pregnant after a 2 year TTC journey.

You can read my whole story here. My blog started as a way to vent my frustrations with the TTC experience and document things I was learning along the way, for anyone else going through the same. Now it's turned into a pregnancy blog for this little miracle that growing in my belly. I've just finished my first trimester and have thankfully graduated from full on anxiety mode to now finally enjoying it. I know when I was TTC, it gave me hope to read some of the blogs of ladies who'd succeeded in becoming pregnant, so it with this intent that I joined ICLW after much consideration.

As with every month, I hope to make some new friends and find some new blogs to follow.

Have a great week!

dry skin, and weekend tales

Is anyone combating dry skin like never before? I think it must be pregnancy related but my skin's been parched, and dry and flakey and nothing was working.

Until I came across Vaseline's Cocoa Butter gel body oil- genius of a product!! It totally soaks into your skin, leaving it luminous. Highly reccomend it! Plus I read that cocoa butter really helps to prevent stretch marks. Thought I'd share the tip if any one else out there is as frustrated by dry skin as me :)

We have been having a fantastic weekend. I don't have very many friends with children (2 to be exact) , and yesterday I went to the birthday party of my best friend's 2 year old daughter. It was about 10 kids, all under 5, running around creating a ruckus. Gave me an idea of what Brangelina's house must be like! :) I quickly acquired a headache but it was fun talking to all the mommy's about motherhood. I let the cat slip out the bag about the pregnancy, but figured I'll never see these ladies again so it's ok. Motherhood is a club I've been dreaming of belonging to for so long!!

Today it's a beautiful day in NYC- bright blue skies, and the sun out full force. I can almost smell Spring :) Hope everyone is having a lovely weekend!

2nd trimester!

Today marks such a special day for us, my friends.

Today I enter my 12th week!

I'm still beyond belief every time I put my hand on my belly and think of my little miracle growing strong inside. Does it start to feel real ever? And although I can't wait to meet the little one come September, I also hope to enjoy the coming months and this time little love and I have together. Spriritually. There's not a day that I don't give thanks for this answer to my dreams, and for a continued 6 months of good health.

Husband is taking me out to one of our favorite spots in Manhattan for dinner tonight to celebrate.

Have a great weekend everyone!

read this

Read this. It's the birth story of a brave mother giving birth to a beautiful daughter with down syndrome. She's exceptionally honest in her reaction and the ensuing love that developed.

But do it when you have a quiet moment and can afford to let tears stream down your cheek.

It's the loveliest thing I've read in a long while, not to mention she takes gorgeous photos of her beautiful family.

It's given me pause to ponder as our NT scan is scheduled for next week.

maternity clothing- it's another planet!!

Maternity shopping is a whole new field for me. And this is coming from a die-hard fashion lover.

Do I buy my regular size in the maternity line? How much longer will the item fit? Do I anticipate that my ass/hips will also widen? By how much?

Questions questions. I've never felt so lost on a shopping expedition.

Found the Old Navy maternity stuff rather lacking. I guess much like the brand, it was mostly of pretty poor quality, and lacking the support I think good maternity wear should have. I still got two items: denim capris and black pants for work- both were on sale and 20$ each so a good deal. I am thinking my tops will last me for a while. I just didn't know what else to get and what size to get it in, so I figure I'll wait and see.

BUT I did go looking through the "normal" clothes at some of my favorite stores and found a few items that will work for maternity wear as well (bought a size or two larger)- lots of pretty dresses out for Spring, and the empire waist is perfect for us pregnant ladies!

A beautiful moment happened when I was out shopping: I'd just purchased my two pants at Old Navy and was riding down the escalator when I was overcome with a feeling that I can only describe as the most content moment of my life. It just felt right that I was finally at this landmark moment, buying maternity clothes for my rapidly expanding body because of this baby inside me. I really had to fight not crying right there in the store and walked out with the biggest smile on my face :)

fries... ice-cream... chips...

I've fallen into a horrible habit of eating junk.

You see I've always been nutritionally minded- most days my life consisted of oatmeal w.flax for breakfast, a big salad for lunch, and some healthy concoction like lentil soup for dinner. I'd ofcourse splurge every so often, eating out at our fave Thai joint, pancakes and sausage brunches or the occasional McD.

Over the past two weeks I've gone bananas. I've eaten McD's atleast twice a week (their fries are about all I can eat when nausea hits), finished one of those large bags of doritos by myself over a few days and this morning ate a brownie and ice-cream for breakfast (so ashamed!). It's like I have no self-control.

I think for me it's compounded by my leg and not being able to go buy the fruits I want or the healthy eats I'd otherwise prepare. And since becoming preggers I can't stand to cook- last night I made a rather healthy pad-thai with some gorgeous king prawns and lots of veggies. The husband LOVED it, I ate one bite and couldn't stomach any more. So dinner was: 2 pickles & a Chobani low fat yogurt.

Maybe it's because I veer between binging on horrible junk food and eating not much from the nausea, but I haven't gained any weight either. Especially amazing when I think about the fact that I used to walk 45 minutes every day (to and back from work) and go to the gym atleast three times a week. I've gone from that to basically not being able to walk even? It's a mystery to me how I'm not gaining tons of weight.

I just can't understand my behaviour. It's not like I'm thinking "oh now that I'm pregnant, I can eat whatever I want". It's more of a mystery- I honestly feel like I crave these unhealthy items, which I've never craved ever before. And I then have no self-control on top of that.

Does anyone else find themselves eating horribly?

10w6d- waiting for the NT scan

One of the surprises of our first OB visit was being told we'd have 3 total scans for the remainder of the pregnancy. Since we found out we were pregnant, we've had one scan a week (and 2 the wk I was in Mexico and had the accident) and been totally spoiled by getting to see our little love so often. To be honest, the scans also induce alot of anxiety about how the baby is measuring and all of that, so maybe it's not a bad thing but it still makes me sad that we'll not get to see our little one so often!!

So the next time we're scheduled for a scan is for the NT scan in 2 weeks time. Maybe this is standard, but my OB gave me an envelope with a lancet and a form I need to mail in after I prick myself and get some blood on some circles. Yesterday my sister was over and we tried and tried and I couldn't get myself to prick myself. I tried a few times and then figured out the lancet was defective and then I couldn't get myself to use the second lancet. It was beyond ridiculous, especially seeing how often I had to inject myself while TTC. I know I need to do it today and mail it in tomorrow to make sure we have the results the day of the scan, but why is it so hard to prick yourself? And who's brilliant idea was this?? Why couldn't a nurse just do it.

Another reason I'm excited about the NT scan is that after we get the results we can finally start telling people. I have some friends who are pregnant and it will be fun to tell them and go through pregnancy with them, even if they're further along. It seems a lot of people can find out the gender at the NT scan- did you find out what you were having at the scan?? This is beyond exciting for us- I can't wait to find out what our little love is.

So with those thoughts I sign off tonight from a beautifully snowy NYC eve.

ps: can't believe I'm 11 wks tomorrow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

jeggings- wha?

Have you ladies heard of a fabulous invention called jeggings?

They're a cross btwn leggings and denim and anytime I leave the house lately I've been living in them. They are stretchy and soooo comfortable and I wear them tucked into my comfy boots and look remotely decent. As opposed to the sweatpants look- not attractive. I plan to spend the next 7 months in these and have a decently fashionable pregnancy!!

I bought my pair randomly at Filene's but I'm sure you can order them online. Just buy them a size larger than usual (so I got a L rather than M) and they fit really comfortably around the waist. I'm so happy these are around right as I'm pregnant!!

10w3d

copying some of my fellow bloggers with their quiz:

How Far Along? 10.5 Weeks!!!!!!!!!

Symptoms? Fatigue (though less than it was a few weeks ago), gagging when I brush my teeth, nausea around dinner time every day, breakouts on my face, sensitivity to smell

Total Weight Gain? Initially it looked like I'd gained 2 lbs (bloating?) but now I'm back to my original weight. The OB reccomended a total weight gain of 25 lbs for my pregnancy, which surprised me since I'm a healthy weight and I thought this was on the lower end of the spectrum. Do they always reccomend on the lower end?

Maternity Clothes? Bella band. And next weekend (with my leg healed inshallah) I want to go check out the Old Navy maternity wear sale. I haven't been to work in two weeks due to injury and have been living in leggings/sweat pants, so it may be a real shock once I wear my work pants again.

Stretch Marks? I don't think so. My skins been so dry so I've been slathering on the lotion. My whole body has really visible blue veins which fascinate me.

Sleep? Really well! Early on in my pregnancy I was suffering really bad insomnia. Then with the injury I was sleeping badly. As of this past week, I've been sleeping a full night w.o waking up. The need to pee also seems to have gone down slightly (?)

Best Moment Last Week? My first OB visit and being welcomed into the club officially. It finally feels real.

Movement? Not yet. Though if I am to admit something at the risk of everyone thinking I'm nuts, I sometimes feel these slight butterfly like flutters. Don't know what they are but I've never felt them before.

Food Cravings/Aversions? Have been having a really picky appetite (no meat, no onions, I'm digging plain things like yogurt and fruits and french fries, and anything sour - love mangoes sprinkled with lemon juice, pickles etc)

What I Miss? Sushi! That's the only thing I miss so far.

Looking Forward To? Seeing our little love again at the NT scan appointment.

Milestones? Can't believe we're 2 weeks away from 2nd Trimester!!

How Is Daddy? My husband has always been an amazing man, but lately he's been doting on me endlessly, spoiling me with massages and treats. I'm lucky to have a good man.

10 wks!!!!

I still have a hard time believing that we're pregnant and that I'm in my third month!

Probably because of being in the "high risk" category for the first 9 weeks made us rather paranoid to form too much of an attachment (as if?) but the coolest thing about our first appt with the OB was that she actually congratulated us! And it was only once we left her office this past Wednesday that both husband and I were like "omg, we're really going to have a baby" :).

I cannot tell you how amazing this feels. It's the answer to our years of prayers and efforts, worth every stick of the injection and nausea inducing medication. The countless sleepless nights wondering "why me?" and the bucket loads of tears. I realise it took us much more effort than most couples but it's brought the husband and I much closer, and made us 100% sure we'll be amazing parents to our little miracle. Once the leg is healed we're planning to go out and have a proper celebration- we haven't done that yet.

The OB's office also gave me one of those 9 month planners with space for scan photos and all of that pretty stuff- it's interesting how small things like that make it all the more "real". Which I'm looking fwd to filling up with all sorts of nonsense :)

Happy Friday Friends!

9w6d- first OB visit

So first OB visit went really well. I was scheduled as her last patient so it felt very unrushed. We looked over all the tests done by the RE and what others we needed to do. Over the course of the conversation I managed to get through all my questions without it feeling like I was interviewing her. Much less of a nightmare than I thought.

I've been seeing her for two years as a regular GYN, annual visit sort of thing. She gained my trust by being the one person who diagnosed my PCOS after many many visits to other doctors. She has a really relaxed attitude that inspires a level of comfort. As much as I grew to trust my RE, he always made me nervous.

The biggest surprise at today's visit was that I will only have three scans over the coming months. We'd been having one a week since we found out we're pregnant which she said was because I was qualified as "high risk" then and no longer am.

The other surprise was she's dating me at 9w6d. Not really a surprise in the sense that that is what it should be with my last period date. But because we know exactly when I ovulated the RE had placed me at 9w4d. Not that it makes a big difference- my due date is now 9/5 rather than 9/4. Not that that will mean anything.

I'm scheduled for a NT scan next week. She suggested once we'd done phase 1 and 2 of these scans that we could finally start telling people around week 17. It was almost funny how easily I just opened up my leg, and how the pap smear was a breeze after everything I've been through :)

I also have to say since being discharged by the RE, I feel far less anxiety. I asked the OB today if as a PCOS'er I had a higher MC rate, and she said once we were at this stage, she'd say we're good to go. That was so good to hear.

9w3d

Tomorrow I have my first OB-gyn appt. I saw the RE last week when he released me, which was kind of bitter sweet. We've grown in our relationship to one of more trust and I did not know how to thank him enough for helping us achieve our dream.

I feel woefully unprepared for tomorrow's visit and the questions I need to ask. Guess there's the list of questions on various site's I can run through. Do people really sit and "interview" their doctors? When I called to re-schedule the appt, they mentioned the doctor was out the next 10 days and that since I was already in my 10th week I needed to come in so we could also schedule my NT scan and other bloodwork.

Also had a check up with my GP for my leg and after a scare this weekend where I woke up with the sheet soaked in blood (checked my panty right away as that was my first thought) and realising I was bleeding from the wound. It's subsided somewhat, but I'm still bleeding. Today the doctor confirmed my wound is infected and put me on another cycle of antibiotics which he assures me is ok. This makes me nervous since I've even been avoiding taking any tylenol for the pain and hate the thought of having antibiotics coursing through me. He pointed out the risk of an infection would be higher. I'm going to run it by my OB tomorrow. As this would now be day 10-17 of antibiotics. Also he referred me to a surgeon as he thinks they may need to re-open the wound and check out the site of infection.

I nearly died hearing that. Just my luck, that me who has never broken a limb in my life nor ever sprained anything or sustained any sort of injury have to have this happen to me while I am pregnant. When they can't give me any thing for the pain. Fantastic.

So that is my state.

Btw after my last self-pitying post, husband encouraged me to make an appointment for some pampering. So I went to the nail salon right downstairs and got a mani & pedi :). I also walked down the block and had my hair blow-dried and you know what... I instantly felt like a million bucks. Nice what a little pampering can achieve :)